Who I am behind this mask that I am showing to everyone and even to myself?
I love the sun, the rain, my partner, my friends, my customers, my colleagues, my job, my shoes, my new earrings, my new clothes, and the old ones but I can’t seem to love the most important part of my life: myself or more exactly my body.
I have so much love and empathy to give to everyone but me. I don’t know how to love myself. I mean I know what in theory I am supposed to do. And I am trying to “fake it until I make it” but to be honest I still feel that space in my stomach (which I usually fill with food).
And I receive love! Tons and tons of love, but do I really feel it? When a tiny-tiny part of myself wonders what the hell they love?
I read this article few nights ago: “The Diet Industrial Complex Got Me, and It Will Never Let Me Go” on The New York Times, written by Sarah Miller. She gave up! I almost started crying, and tears are coming back even now. She gave up! And me?! Well, I gave up as well on ever loving myself, through all this body had to take all this time, I never found a moment to truly give the credit that it deserves.
And why? Because I have been taught that:
I can’t wear a skirt or shorts because I am too fat
I can’t wear shirts and t’ shirts without sleeves because my arms are too big and I am afraid that will show to much skin and people will find me gross.
I have a nice face but I would be prettier if I would lose some kilograms.
They said all these awful things and I believed them and I tried to cope. All my life I was on a diet, dreaming about that moment when I will be skinny and pretty and people will look at me and admire me, and envy me for the body I got!
And now I am in a place where I can’t eat without being on a diet.
I am emptying the fridge with one meal or I am barely eating. I don’t know how to be normal.
But one thing I know for sure!
I won’t give up! I refuse to give up on myself!
So, I decided what I will do. I will look out for my body. I will eat healthy, without any crazy diet.
I signed up for the gym and today I will go for the first time! I will sleep more, I will drink less coffee and more water. I will relax more often and exercise more.
I love playing tennis so I want to start doing this regularly.
I will find a way to give more love to this body.
I will find a way to love myself more. To give me what I deserve and which is more than constant criticism.
This is a promise to my body and to myself.
This is one of the reasons why I joined Just Strong.
I am part of a community where women all around the world are proving themselves and being strong.
No matter what enemy any of us has, we support each other.
Plus the Just Strong products are giving good value for the money.
If you want to have a look here is the link for their website:
Don’t forget to enter the code LIGTUT10 to get 10% off of your order.
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