My Lucid Sonder

I don’t know how to fix myself.

Photo by Vladislav Muslakov on Unsplash
I don't know how to fix myself.
How to be happy all the time.
How to care?
How to stay motivated?
I don't know how to fix myself.
I don't know how to regulate myself.
How to follow my own rules.
I don't know how to write anymore.
I don't trust myself.
Feels like I am constantly dreaming.
I don't know how to not be sick anymore.
I don't know and I don't care.
Going numb through life
Like automatic piloted.
How could I stop?
How could I fight back?
When I don't have energy
not even to get up from bed?

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