I am scared of your Ex.
But me being scared of them
Has nothing to do with who they are.
But with me.
And who I am.
I have insecurities
That I will never be good enough for you to propose
That I will never have a space big in your heart
That you won't be here when I wake up
And that you will break my heart.
I am afraid
You know that already.
I am afraid that one day
You will realise that I am not what you need
And fed up and angry
You will just leave without looking back.
I am insane.
I know. I am insane for you.
I can be so calculated and calm
And change immediately without a sign.
I don't have a manual to learn everything about me.
Sometimes I can even be toxic
And I know, I have no excuses
But I promise that I am getting better.
I am sorry that I have insecurities
But I am scared to ever lose you.